Who shall wear the starry crown

[Christine Daye]

The path along the river is muddy, but passable enough for the two redheads, one tall, one short, to walk side by side.

Christine's arm is tucked companionably in her friend's, and the Malkavian is singing softly, as is her habit.

"...as I went down to the river to pray... studying about that good old way... and who shall wear the starry crown... good Lord show me the way... oh sisters, let's go down... let's go down... come on down... oh sisters, let's go down... down to the river to pray..."

[annabelle]

Helen walks along this familiar path. It was a habit nowadays, following the river, her footsteps trying to follow the flow and this is somewhat soothing. She will walk thoughtful, enjoying the proximity of her cherished friend and now colleague.

"The river will always flow towards the sea, will always follow the source, so resisting or thinking about it too much is pointless. That's why I like this path, is calming to observe the certainty of nature. No complications, no angst. The water knows where it is going, it always does. However, we are just fishes, small little goldfishes in unknown waters...dreadful. Lissa likes to pray, maybe she sees something I was unable to see. These days I feel like praying, I don't know what more I can do rather than trying my best." she whispers lost in her thoughts. Happy to let them flow freely without the restrictions of walls and prying ears.

"Do you pray Christine?"

[Christine Daye]

"Yes."

Christine smiles softly. She's calm, serene as the river, a green scarf wrapped high around her throat.

"...though it is not fashionable... at least not my mother's Catholicism... but... in times of sorrow... or need... I often find myself in church... lighting candles... singing... and praying... it seems that I have done that for longer than I can remember...

"Do you pray, Helen?"

[annabelle]

"It used to be a habit in my human years. A way of the world, as natural and normal as walking. There was no questioning. An orthodox upbringing doesn't give you many options you see and whatever I prayed for was lost. So God maybe has a selective hearing." she says smiling with tiny bits of concealed bitterness and sarcasm.

"Do I pray now? I wish for things and then go and get them. There is no praying in between. I wish for your safety but there are few things I can do or predict." her eyes going accusingly to the malkavian's concealed wounds and her tone sounds on the edge aiming towards somewhere dangerously.

"I didn't knew you went to that stupid mission and you got these. When I saw the wounds... I thought you got triggered again... Like last time. I don't know what is worse at this point."

The young byzantine focuses back to the river, letting the sound of the flow ease her spirit. Let it flow, don't resist, all that was done has been done. Her tone softer.

"Life doesn't worth living when you are playing safe I understand. You cannot lock yourself in the theaters. There are things to be done. But it is just so damn worrying."

[Christine Daye]

"...it grieves me more than I can say to worry you..."

Christine's voice is calm, and the gaze that she turns on Helen is soft, sympathetic. Acknowledging the Ventrue's anger, her possessiveness. Accepting it.

"...Christmas.... I was such a fool at Christmas!"

She shakes her head ruefully, still upset with her mistakes, but increasingly finding peace with them.

"...I don't know for sure what happened... what I did... those memories are gone... but I remember fighting my own mind... fighting the poisonous thoughts... if he loves her then how can he love me? Papa's voice... telling me again and again and again that I am not deserving of love... that I had failed... that I must atone... and I did something stupid... and I am deeply sorry..."

A sigh, then a gentle smile.

"... I have learned a great many things, this past couple of months... I have learned that, even though it is hard for me, I can trust... I must trust... that I am indeed stronger than I thought... that there are those who love me in truth, even with my madness... My Queen, my Lord, and you, my Sister... I will keep faith... even though the night is long and full of shadows... but it is darkest before the dawn..."

Another smile, and her mood lightens. She lowers her voice conspiratorially.

"I am going to tell you something... I hope it will help reassure you... during the... attack... I screamed at the Gangrel attacking me... and he fell at my feet... blood pouring from his ears..."

She frowns.

"Alas... there were too many... and they learned quickly... it's why they tore out my... my... um..."

Her hand ghosts to her covered throat.

"Their claws... those wounds take a long time to heal... but they are healing... and I can still sing... Dr Treleven has prescribed rest... and I will obey!"

She laughs gently.

"I think for the next month or so I shall be taking it easy... doing a bit more reading... though I am considering going on tour..."

[annabelle]

Helen sighs "We are Kindred, predators... of course we will get involved in dangerous endeavour... Is inevitable...I am overreacting, no need to worry about my worries. Conditioned you see...a weakness. A flaw. I am sorry for getting angry."

"All of us did idiotic things that night but the difference is that we did it by our own accord whereas you... You can't help it. I am not blaming you. Hell.. I don't have any derrangements but I would have done worse in your place...

Helen internally snorts with her own hypocrisy.

"Well...I've done worse but I have fortitude." her tone casual, almost cheerful.

Sister

The Ventrue feels a short pain in her chest. Strong, brief and sweet. Unconsciously, the hold on Christine gets tighter but not tight enough to hurt and she immediately relaxes. Trying to focus on the elements and their flow successfully.

Her smile reassuring and her question soft "You love the Queen of shadows and the Fae Lord as well. Two not one. Why this will be different for the Fae Lord? "

She was trying to keep her curiosity and frustration at bay when it came to this emotional mess she witnessed that night. This wasn't her business but hell, who would have chosen a weakling trembling fledging over Christine?

"Unfortunately, we are bound to deal with our human traumas during our unlife as well. I cannot change your mind over your self perception, I can only tell you how blinding the beauty of your soul is to me."

Upon her next words her smile turns wolfish and she stares at her with appreciation and a clap "Oh... That's nice... Well done... My dear that's a useful skill definitely, you can immobilise the enemy for a while. Ha!"

"Tour? What kind of tour?"

[Christine Daye]

"Never apologise to me for caring, my dear, sweet Helen!"

Christine smiles, then sobers.

"...I am not a child, or a childe... if I am to survive... more... if I am to thrive... and be a strength to those I love, rather than a weakness... then I must learn... and I will... I refuse to be a burden, do you see? But I am mad and always will be... but I shall make of my weakness a strength..."

She looks quizzically at Helen.

"...fortitude... indeed... I think that you really do understand... "

She doesn't look alarmed as Helen's grip tightens for a moment, instead returning the squeeze with a gentle one of her own.

"Why this will be different for the Fae Lord?"

"It isn't... and I knew that... at least for one of his... I was not upset by the Dominus... but I did not know that it was eros as well as agape he felt for her... and I have been betrayed before... with bitter consequence... I... I could only see her as better than me..."

She falls silent for a moment, thinking.

...better bred... prettier... younger... not a jumped up Fenian bogtrotter singer... a carrot top... and a madwoman to boot....

Helen's compliments make her smile in true delight.

"...you are too good to me! But I shall be terrible and vain and bask in your compliments for as long as I can!"

"As for my tour... I shall go from city to city and perform... Let's see if we can turn the recent bad publicity about my theatre into something good. And besides, politics are made so much easier with music to smooth the way..."

[annabelle]

Helen is listening to her carefully, thoughtfully and for a moment she is gone.

Her eyes are focused back to the upcoming abyss. Oh, wait there was never any abyss there, there was only nature and water and tendencies and the sound of Christine. But she was seeing it nether the less so she had to drag her eyes away from it along with her mind and the field of familiar stones came back. Not now.

A subtle smile re-appears again “They are not compliments. It is a joy to share my honest opinion of you. In fact, I should write dozens of letters with my appreciation so you will read them if I am not around.”

“That sounds lovely, the tour I mean. The mortals will be thrilled I am sure.”

Then she goes back to silence. The rhythm of their footsteps bringing some sort of structure in her mind. Follow the rhythm and the flow, keep your boxes there, neatly put. One by one, too much effort, they should be tidy, organised.

“Christine….what is that power that brought so much trouble to Cylon? He used it on me, to help me, not to harm me. It felt like dominate but not exactly, such a weird sensation. He numbed my feelings.”

[Christine Daye]

Christine sings softly to herself as she walks, the in step rhythm of their footprints forming the steady beat. The melody is there for Helen, if she needs it. A lifeline of sorts.

"...just close your eyes... the sun is going down... you'll be alright... no one can hurt you now... come morning light... you and I'll be safe and sound... "

She smiles serenely at Helen.

"...I think that I would like that... speaking of letters... um... did the one I gave you at the party please you?"

She looks worried, but trying to hide it. Then:

"Yes, a tour will be great, but it requires a great deal of preparation, so will not happen quickly... and I want to have new music... so that will take time too..."

"...don't you dare look out your window.... darling everything's on fire... the war outside our door keeps raging on... hold on to this lullaby... even when the music's past and gone..."

She nods.

"...I don't know much... but I do know that it is called Dementation... and it was the signature of the Malkavian Clan many centuries ago... the power to bring madness... to affect emotion... it was stripped from us a long time ago... I don't know why... or why people think his possession of it makes him a Sword of Caine... he is not Malkavian... I don't think... but then Nosferatu blood is pliable... I have met several Nosferatu with special abilities in Disciplines from outside their Clan..."

She pulls a face, looks concerned.

"...I wonder what my strange new vocal abilities mean for me... Lunaris says they have the power to manipulate minds and emotions and trigger madness..."

[annabelle]

"darling everything's on fire... the war outside our door keeps raging on..."

Helen leans towards Christine, her eyes closed but she keeps walking. Feeling like stumbling but she doesn’t and Christine now feels like a walking support. It doesn’t look like it but in Helen’s mind right her feet are guided by Christine’s song. Like a magical walking stick, revealing her disability and offering assistance. No pity there, no words no dramatizations. No need to show strength when there is nothing but weakness and carefully scripted patterns. A fake smile, a shallow dress and pearls of vanity to fulfil a role. Shining so bright like a firework that is about to burn and fade while staring at the purity of this undying light that is Christine with awe before the end of the performance.

“Words can’t describe how beautiful your letter was haunted fae. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” Her tone sincere and a little bit broken.

Focus on the flow, on the boxes. One by one, one by one. So tidy, so neat, so safe.

“Dementation….never heard of this, how strange. If it’s not a Sword of Caine discipline then why they accused him? That doesn’t make sense? Are they gonna make a trial? Who decides about these? The primogen council perhaps? Too many questions but Cylon is a friend of mine and I am worried. I have a non Ventrue discipline too, should be more careful with this since apparently our court is paranoid. You better hide this ability as well. This sounds peculiar, never heard that kind of discipline. Driving someone mad with your voice? How wonderful, you are growing stronger!” her spirit sparkling with fascination.

“You should find someone to guide you with this and learn how to use it properly, but I am sure you know that already.”