Nobody's fault but mine

[Christine Daye]

Christine laughs and sings:

"Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
 Men were deceivers ever,
 One foot in sea and one on shore,
 To one thing constant never.
 Then sigh not so, but let them go,
 And be you blithe and bonny,
 Converting all your sounds of woe
 Into Hey, nonny nonny.

 Sing no more ditties, sing no mo
 Of dumps so dull and heavy.
 The fraud of men was ever so,
 Since summer first was leavy.
 Then sigh not so, but let them go
 And be you blithe and bonny,
 Converting all your sounds of woe
 Into Hey, nonny nonny."

She laughs again, then, to Helen's surprised look, explains:

"It is the song from Much Ado... it is a charming play! A comedy and love story, with much misunderstandings and deceptions, and people dressing up as other people, and masquerades... hmmm... now... how does it go? Oh yes..."

He voice adopts a sing song tone as she tells the story.

"It is a story of two couples. The first, Beatrice and Benedick - well, they are well matched for wit and beauty, but strike sparks from each other the whole time, which is highly entertaining for the audience. Until their friends get together and convince them that the other was sick with love for them, and like to die! And this brings them together in love... "

A happy smile, which fades with her next words.

"...and then there is poor Hero, wooed by and in love with Claudio... but is maligned by the trickery of Don John so that Claudio casts her aside on their wedding day... he thought she was unfaithful when it was really her maidservant he saw, not her. Anyway, it is given out that she has died from the grief of it, and Claudio is so remorseful when he discovers the truth that he agrees to marry her cousin instead. All is revealed, and all is made joyful again when Claudio discovers his own sweet Hero behind the wedding veil. And they live happily ever after. Well, except for the evil Don John, but nobody likes him anyway!"

She giggles again.

"And oh! I am glad I got that reference right! And I would be very happy to speak to you about mythology and stories as long as you desire, dear Mr Helios! Such stories remind me of home..."

((https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=479TkEj0UAA))

[annabelle]

“Thank Christine! I don’t really know that Shakespeare, probably I was napping when he was famous. Interesting story, I suppose, funny song as well. And yes, we need to dedicate some time on Greek mythology, I didn’t knew you were so interested!” she says happily and casually goes back to her flower searching which was proving to be fruitless.

She seems thoughtful though, not really looking at the grass, mostly looking nowhere. After few minutes of considering the plot there is a tiny click in her head and she exhales loudly turning her head towards Christine and Kira. A frown of pure confusion marking her features. She is about to say something, but she doesn’t, an "O" framing her lips and with uncoordinated movements she goes back to her dull task.

Whispering in Greek some nonsense without even realising, desperation in her voice, like she is arguing with herself. Grabbing pieces of grass and throwing them around mindlessly like she is totally lost somewhere. Then there is silence, she oddly seems to go back to normal and she just murmurs distantly.

"I might have drunk too much for today, good thing I gave you the other flask Kira. Please don't mind me." and with that she goes back to shadowing the two girls enjoying the serenity and openess of the discussion.

[Christine Daye]

Christine watches Helen carefully as the Ventrue mutters to herself, lost in what appears to be a fugue. But the Malkavian doesn't interfere, knowing better than that. Instead she just watches, ready to step in if Helen looks like she's going to harm herself.

Epiphanies are painful things, sometimes.

Christine sings quietly to herself as she stands guard over her friend:

"...wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you might find
Wish I knew what you were looking for
Under the Milky Way tonight

And it's something quite peculiar
Something shimmering and white
That leads you here, despite your destination
Under the Milky Way tonight..."

A nod, a gentle smile to Helen in acknowledgement, and she turns her attention back to Kira.

[LittleBird]

Kira bows her head graciously to Helen as Christine thanks Helen so poetically, "Could not have dreamed to put it better Christine," she smiles, before returning a brief look to Helen.

"This is time for your bridges not mine.”

"Uh-huh," Kira holds up a finger, "Bridges cross both ways my dear-there is always time for another...we're all here together, of our own wants-your invited, you are not intruding. I just hope in time we can offer the support you granted us,"

"it is not the easiest way for me..."

"Patience is not a chore, it is an ending key to compliment what follows." "Oh I see, in regards to concerts do you have the same players perform along side you?" Kira cannot help but stiffle a chuckle in her talk of managing that elysium months ago, "Stage management is quite different from directing my dear..on that note, mmmm...perhaps tis only been done on smaller stages, though cannot see why not on the grand stages you call home-have you ever thought of eve partially directing a performance that you too will star in? Best of both worlds then,"

Kira tilts her head to Christines direction as she kindly offers some form of explanation to the rule of three, "Thank you, even still shrouded in mystery it still...it still shines a light on a lot, my thanks,"

Kira's eyes light up, "Hmmm, yes, that is a interesting link to thread,...what do you think came to be first then? The rule of three amongst changelings or amongst kindred spirits?"

"Oh? Mr.Helios, forgive me, what is the difference between Gods and Titans? I've read references, but...I do not quite truth the source materials I was reading at the time," she chuckles. "Hmm, speaking of literature, The Strand? Yes, I recall having a few sent home, my uncle was interested in this type of publication, but well, even his friends could never truly sell him on it- he was not keen, preferred 'proper bound books' over that. Tis a shame, I loved the variety, I remember being hooked! and-" she bubbles at the recollection of those episodic tales, eager to know what would become of them, but no, work came first, and the sordid pages replaced her enthralling fantasy, "Well, I can imagine my own endings to the tale I guess,"

"Disturbing our conversation with tales of mythologies?" Kira furrows her brow, a little confused at such a statement, "Never! Tales of Gods, Titans, tales of Children from another time-I would love to hear such and more dears!" She claps her hands together, a look close to longing, at the thought such mythos, such ties for them, "I read from the bible and that alone as a child, hearing such tales and beliefs now, they inspire so much...tis wondrous to be shared,"

Kira listens intently and frowns over the Shakespearean tale, "Huh, why did Don John trick them? And is that a happy ending? Everyone was quick to trick another or so quick to believe non existent wrong doings of their loved ones. Rings more tragic to me," her voice becomes small at those last words, blinking up she clears her throat and runs a finger through her hair with a shrug, urging her voice back to normal she continues, "It makes me curious as to how they lived after they wed,"

"Mmm?" Kira looks to Helen, her attention snatched at her friends loud exhale. "Do continue Helios, you look as if something suddenly clicked within you," her smiles turns into a playful smirk, "that or a pun an-" Kiras voice trails off as Helen speaks in what she can only assume is her home tongue, Kira takes half a slow step back, and with a look to Christine, who seems to be of the same mind, they continue on.

[Christine Daye]

"...concerts... yes... we have a standing... or should that be sitting?" she giggles "orchestra, who play as the house orchestra at the theatre... they are quite used to my foibles now, thank God... so we manage well enough together..."

Christine keeps a careful eye on Helen, as she responds to Kira's queries.

"....hmmmm... part directing and performing... that is an interesting idea! I shall have to think more on it, but thank you for the suggestion... something to explore later..."

Though it does seem to be rife with the danger of doing two things badly rather than one thing well. But then, she has not tried it, so how is she to know for sure?

"...as for the rule of three, and which came first... the Good Folk or Kindred... I do not know.... My heart tells me that the Daoine Sidhe were here before the Sons of Man... for so the legends tell it... but even before the Tuatha de Dannan, there were the Fir Bolg, and the Fomorians, the Milesians and the Partholonians... but even then the legends only speak of the beginnings of Éire... and I know next to nothing of how the Kindred came to be... but three is always magic... one and one join together to become three... as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be.... world without end..."

Her voice trails off again, and she refocuses with a start.

"...oh... oh! Forgive me! Off with the fairies again! Where were we? Oh, yes, the Strand! I am in the process of putting together a small package to send to the Manor - for our dear Angel there, you see? For I fear that she might be terribly bored... anyway... I am including some back issues of the Strand for her... perhaps she would consent to let you borrow them? If not, I'm sure I have others that I can lend you... if you'd like? They are very amusing, and educational too!"

She smiles softly, content to defer to Helen about the difference between the Gods and the Titans, lest her classics education have misinformed her.

A shrug.

"Shakespeare was like that... the only difference between comedies and tragedies is that comedies end with a marriage, and tragedies with death.... so it is for life... but all life is tragedy... for all life ends in death... it is up to us to pierce the veil of misunderstanding when we can... to keep faith when all seems lost... to keep love... and believe..."

...I'll dye my petticoat, I'll dye it red... around the world I'll beg my bread...

Another abrupt refocussing.

"...as for Don John... if I remember right, his actions were all due to jealousy... Claudio was favoured by Don John's brother, the Duke... so it goes... to be loved by those in power is a dangerous thing..."

She shrugs again, smiling softly. Memories of sweet whispers, shades of red tangled against white sheets.

...but I count it worth the cost... a hundred thousand times over...

[annabelle]

Helen listens to Christine’s song silently. Memories near the campfire emerging again and warm her cold spirit. She smiles softly to Christine and nods.

“In Greek mythology the Olympian gods were the children of the Titans. Difference? Well…I suppose the Gods were more cunning because they ended up overthrowing their own creators. Nothing surprising there, immortal beings have the tendency to defy their creators. It’s a power game, what else to do when you have done everything? But then this is an assumptions and generalisation.” And she sounds oddly jolly with her explanation.

“Clicked? Yeah indeed, many things are clicking these days, it’s part of the tidying up I told you before. Only if you order the mess you are able to find what you are looking for Kai.”

"Everyone was quick to trick another or so quick to believe non existent wrong doings.”

Helen laughs with appreciation “What a great assessment there Kai. I find most of the Victorian tales of love lacking insight and realism, we didn’t have any tales during my time. It seems that everything can be fixed with a wedding ring.” There is a small snort there “Haven’t seen the play but indeed Claudio seemed so fast to believe Hero was unfaithful and Hero agreed to trick Claudio as well. A woman who agreed to marry a man via deceit? This is a recipe for disaster. I could have accepted a happy ending only if Claudio would have made a considerable effort to fix things after all this mess. But instead he just got Hero on a silver plate with a cherry on top and it all ended up happily ever after. That’s unacceptable, don't you think?”

She nods at Christine’s assessment and wishes and she eyes her with a serious expression “Sometimes we think we misunderstand, blinded by hope or fear. Both are risks. One makes us try and wait for something that was never there and the other holds us back from seeing what all was already there all along.” Then she stares both of them with a warning “Be aware of both my dears, because women and men can be tricksters and manipulators in war as well in love. We tend to believe the best for our loved ones but that doesn’t mean our belief is right...And you can continue believing, because this is who you are, but then you don’t see them for who they really are with their flaws and their crookedness. And you have to see them like you demand them to see and accept yours. So don't idolise anyone, if you ever did that, because that's unfair for them and for you, but that's my humble advice.” and she starts walking casually besides them, observing their expressions.

[LittleBird]

"That's fantastic! Are there ever any members from other orchestras you would love to collect in your midst?" she asks excitedly.

"Hmm mm, could be a full opera, or perhaps if you insert a fully staged scene here and there within your concerts? A fully staged number amidst the pieces that are performed wholly as song? Twould be quite the delightful contrast, besides.. I've heard it is a trend beginning to take wind in other parts of the continent, would be quite the show if done here."

"Erm, Sidhe, that rings a bell but your full phrase does not-is that another term for changeling or something altogether other? And-oh!" Kira nods and her lips move along as Christine grants further explanation and further words unknown to her, she mouths them as if trying to commit the shape of her words to memory, yet their meaning is still lost on her.

Off with the fairies again!
"No apologies remember?" Kira giggles, holding a finger up and tilting her head in a low submissive gesture, her eyes still glittering kindly. "Angel? Who-surely not Viole-oh...Seraph-"

Her voice shrinks meekly once more, "I...I do not think that would be a good idea, I wouldn't be allowed to receive anything from her," she raises her arms weakly, "in fact all interactions are banned...have been since I first heard of her...almost a year ago? I think I see her peeking from a door frame here and there, but apart from that, nothi-"

Kira looks down that glitter dimming from her eyes as confusion bleeds in their stead, she switches her gaze to both Helen and Christine, "Wait...Are you allowed to speak to her? Both of you?!" is everyone allowed to make good with her but me? The only one who has never once lied or used him... Kira shakes her head and clicks her tongue, a self deprecating laugh emits sharp laugh.

Her breathes in deeply and smiles, her voice taking more bouncing tone, a hopeful tone, despite the cynical overtures her optimism is trying to drown out, "Well, I shall take it he suddenly finds her safe for social interactions then? He better...he doesn't expect her to suddenly torture people or animals on a whim, no? Well, dearest angel certainly was not a description I thought would be used on her, but...hopefully things have changed since the original warnings. It couldn't have been too bad, she wouldn't be allowed to stay home otherwise, hhmm," she chuckles, "Well, tis so thoughtful you help her keep entertained, that must've helped volumes, usually does for people in such situations, so-what do you make of her Christine?"

Kira nods, listening intently to Helens explanation, and appearing rather taken with it,
"Hmm, these Gods...having power over them not just under them...how interesting, no wonder you admire them so." she beams, yet she sighs, "Hmm, why must everything be a power play, there's no harmony in that, or what brief harmony there is, is quick to be overthrown back into discord, oh well, guess there would be little progress without power plays right? That competitive edge gives many a spur, shame, I think there are less destructive ways to find your own push to achieve more-but where would be the drama in that right?" she chuckles with a large eye roll before settling down once more, "Regardless, which God if any do you have a affinity with Helen? Is from you previous words, perhaps Apollo the God you honour the most?"

"Oh? Well, I am glad you're making progress. How long have you been looking for this particular click to sink in?"

Kira nods, "Yes...unacceptable perhaps isn't the word I would use but...close enough, and I am certainly no bard able to conjure up a more appropriate term," she smirks then offers to Christine, not wanting to bash a play she clearly enjoys so much, "Though, perhaps it is a different feel when watching the play as opposed to reading it? Perhaps the repercussions and the reactions painted on the performers faces grant more of a insight then words on a page can? Besides, while I have read the play, I am more familiar with...certain," Kira taps the edge of her coat while trying to think of the proper term...erotic bastardisations? Erm, no, uugh, "artistic parodies then the original source material of the great Bards works, yet us say,"

"But yes, I would love to see a sequel to such a piece...I do not believe such cracks could be forgiven with a quick rut on a wedding night, as dashingly romantic as it may seem, all it sees to me is tis as if the veil takes the place of coin for a toll. There's no trust, just need, if it does last it wouldn't be lovely, it would be destructive, the emotional truth disintegrating, the actions of the play eating away without them realising...they would be trapped in the snatching illusion of love, or the belief that a happy ending was their right...love without trust, would always, always be one sided, or no sided as this case would be, so what's the use..." her voice trails off and she blinks up, clearing her throat and hitting her chest with a cough, "Lord, your drink must've given me a lack of filter and a endless supply of overthought tonight dear Helios! My God!"

Kira plays with her gloves as Helen continues, she lowers her head, staring out over the grass, the flowers, staring out to the waters while trying to keep her own sea levels down... "And what if you both hope and believe, yet are also aware of the folly and are fearful of the extent that your hope and trust and love will forgive? What if you feel both at once, then what...?" she asks softly, a crack in her voice as she asks such words, "And do not say that perhaps part of this is a lie to oneself-" she adds quit abruptly, "lies like that do not sink so deep..." she whispers.

She walks along, her pace and path alternating from before, yet feel ever more natural then what was as her mind races along...
I cannot change what I feel, I can only choose to take part or cease the actions such feelings inspire. I cannot choose who I love, who I trust, and who I fear. I cannot choose to be aware, but others can choose to blind themselves at times, I did once blinker what parts hold my focus, but no more. Others may choose what parts they wish to put away in a box, or have hidden as a counter melody beneath the main one. Not I, not for a lifetime it seems.

Kira falters up ahead, I've seen the actions that once hurt and now know they were made with a heavy heart as a kindness, how can one not be so thankful for that and-UGH! Don't you dare fucking cry Kira! lost in her reverie, yet with a quick blurr of her sleeve, seemingly fixing her hat, she continues, aloud this time.

"But what if you are aware of all sides of this? So...what? What if you will still be beside them regardless," but are aware that it is nobody's fault but mine she sighs, musing to herself, "What then? What advice do you offer to the contradictory contrary fool?"

[Christine Daye]

Christine blinks. So much to unpack there, text and subtext... she's not sure how to respond without diving into analogy, into music. The easiest things first:

"Tuatha de Dannann? The people of the Goddess Danú... heroes and gods of Ireland... those who were there before the Sons of Man. My people."

She smiles, rueful acknowledgement of her misspoken apology, but manages to not compound the error by apologising again.

"...and there are a few musicians I have my eye on to poach..." she giggles "...but all in good time... and I don't want to scare them away..."

Her eyes widen in concern at Kira's reaction to mention of Seraph.

"...oh, no... let me explain... I saw her at Christmas... but only for a few moments... and I haven't seen her since... but I wanted to send her a few things... I don't know if or when I'll be able to call, you see? And... we were friends... in another life... I hope that we might be so again..."

And isn't Christine so fragile with joy to see her again?

The next words are matter-of-fact, for Kira:

"...but I shall keep aside some copies of the Strand for you to borrow too... It is simply terrible to be denied good reading material!"

A smile, aimed at the Toreador.

Oh, the difficult question of literary criticism... Christine thinks for a long moment, humming quietly to herself.

"The thing about art, or music, or novels, or theatre... and, oh, please forgive me if I tell you what you already know... but... the point of it is that it is not real life. It takes the emotions of the real world and compresses them... squeezing them so tightly that they become so intense that they are intoxicating... like grapes turned to wine...

"But because the actions are so compressed, and time on the stage so short... the playwrights take shortcuts... use archetypes to guide the audience to the emotions they wish to feel... and we all participate gladly in our own deception... for that is the glory of stories...

"...and in truth... we... I... well, I am a terrible romantic... and like you said yourself, Mr Kai... we write the stories of afterwards in our own minds... "

A breath. She's worried that she's coming across as lecturing, which is not her intention.

"...and besides, these stories... they allow us to do exactly what we are doing... discuss the actions of the characters and criticise them... and maybe learn more about ourselves in the process?"

She shrugs.

"Smoke and mirrors... the magic of the theatre. People paying to experience second hand trauma, safe in the knowledge that it's not real, that at the end of the play everything is wrapped up and resolved... unlike real life..."

She giggles.

"...it is all a little bit mad, when you think about it!"

Christine looks sympathetically at Kira.

"...I have no advice... I am sorry..."

She doesn't know if what she's going to say next will make any sense to either of her companions. But she says it anyway.

"I will stand at the crossroads and choose, and choose, and choose again, and every choice will be for love."

She looks to Helen, adding:

"...and every choice will be made with my eyes wide open. "

[annabelle]

Helen stares at Kira and there is a concealed helplessness there. Christine mirroring her thoughts somehow. Evident that Kira was struggling with something. It came so naturally to Helen to just say to Kira.

“Run and leave all behind, all this seems to be suffocating you” but she knew by now this was a hypocritical advice she wouldn’t implement herself. Because in her shoes she didn’t run, she stayed there even when the city was burning.

So instead she says
“I don’t Kai, I really don’t know. But fools are the ones who stay with their eyes closed, seeing all the sides makes you aware and prepared. From this, it’s up to you to decide, to choose, only you. And we all write the stories in our minds and we might distort them, making them worse or better than they really are. And what can we do? Trying our best to keep a realistic eye and brace ourselves without losing our optimism in the process. Or not, or we can just lose contact with reality and just enjoy the flight before the fall or the elevation. All are choices but I believe it’s crucial to know what you choose.”

She then shrugs her shoulders casually “I am pretty sure you both are intelligent enough to keep your eyes open and make your choices. We choose and we bear the pleasures and the consequences. What else to do really?”

But then she takes Kira’s hand and smiles whilst slowly walking like she was dancing. Her face looking careless and more youthful without that constant frown.

“Let it be? Hmmm…my mother used to tell me when I was getting anxious about things that, whatever is about to come has been already done, so don’t stress yourself about it. Of course, I used to protest, saying passionately that I had free will and I was in control of my future. But now I think I see her point. Like a book already written we just read our pages. Our consciousness lighting what’s already been done. So what we can do is lay back and enjoy the ride” and she starts laughing continuing her dance-like steps “So let’s dance! Dance through the joy and pain and drink every single moment of it, probably there is a reason for everything, a plan for us!”

“Ah and my favourite God? Well…usually I would say Athena for appearances sake but since I was a child I was infatuated with Persephone secretly. Though a creature as such, pure and light managed to rule the underworld as well. Queen of the dead and bringer of spring and joy as well. She managed to turn her bad luck to a good one and finally managed to find her freedom in the darkness and light, ruling over everything that dragged her down. The duality of death and rebirth in one figure. Dancing through extremes and bringing the balance in this world, cause innocent Persephone was more then met the eye and her trip to the underworld was the one thing that unlocked her destiny and potential. How about your favourite God Kai and Christine?” and she encourages Kira and Christine to join her dance.

[LittleBird]

"So, Danu was before, mmm," Kira searches back, "You have told many a tales, but...I do not recall the name before, does she go under many different titles? Does the Goddess Danu have a hand in many of the tales you have told us? Do you feel she has inspired others from different lands too and-?" Kira puts a hand to her mouth and looks down sheepishly, almost about to apologise for her barrage of questions, tis clear the young kindred is quite taken with such talks.

Kiras eyes brighten though as the conversation continues and Christine too almost apologises, "We both almost did it again," she giggles, sounding as young as she looks for a change, "Hmm, I remember the first time I banned apologies, we were still apologising for apologising hours later it seemed,"

"Oh? Where have you seen these potential musicians play? If they play at some of the bars south of the river, I may have come across them, could easily enquire about the schedule or grant them a better offer," she beams.

"Friends? With Seraph?" mm, Dorian made it seem she was incapable of such, but that was after... "So, so did...did you see her much before Dorian discovered her? Or was this a fair time ago?" Kira holds up her hands softly, "Forgive the questions tis just..." she speaks softly though unable to trying sugar coat her words, "From what I gather it doesn't sound like she had a friend in the world until Dorian swooped in. When I heard her tale I wanted to help, I wanted to be friends with her, have her see another kind soul but Dorian disagreed, quite strongly, hence the ban of any interactions with her. Perhaps now though, perhaps now it would do good, good for you to offer her entertainment, good to offer company if permitted...just, perhaps check with Dorian if such stimulus and recollection to her past life is a good idea, please?"

"And if so, nonetheless, be careful, Dorian wouldn't just give me all those warnings for no reason, right? He painted her as clever but in the worst ways, manipulative and cruel when bored...or as a coping mechanism too I guess," Kira shrugs sadly, "Still, perhaps that has subdued during her time here? Still, if she knew you from before, she may have more...ammunition to use to on you if such a trait has still clung to her." "As I said, she cannot be all bad, Dorian gave her another chance, another life where she had no choice...it cannot be easy for the poor girl-still, I doubt she'd like sympathy in her position," she breathes, I'd certainly loathe it...

Kira claps her hands together, "Thank you, I would greatly appreciate it, I wish I could recall the edition I last read...mmm, oh well, new tales to be woven, how can one not look forward to it, thank you!"

She nods and hums along in agreement to Christines talk of the arts, "Yes, I agree, tis just lately...I don't know, tis hard to be as drawn in, there are moments, but it all links to reality in one way...keeps me too grounded, closest to fantasy is when a piece brings emotions that overflow, until I am near drowning yet still, tis not a new feeling, tis a intense recollection that I cannot surface from til the piece subdues..."

"Mmm, nothing terrible with being a romantic Christine," her lips break into a warm open smile, one that slowly turns introverted, as if partaking of a secret when she softly adds, "I too am," her eyes look out, a little shakily before retracting down, caught in a self made trap of melancholy before it finds a glimmer again, and the smile becomes a open secret and her brightness returns, "What stories has your mind woven after such works have seemingly finished behind the curtain?"

discuss the actions of the characters and criticise them... and maybe learn more about ourselves in the process?

"Exactly"" She nods enthusiastically. "Exactly!" positively beaming, "What tales or other works of art do you feel have brought such to the forefront for you?"

Kira raises a brow, "Second hand trauma? I guess the enforced distance offers a appeal?" she shurgs and the nods, "Hmmm, cannot say much, it seems I am a sucker for second hand faith. And yes, perhaps best relief and fantasy is reality under guide, what is it they say, a rose by any other name...?"

Kira leans by a railing, staring out at the waters as Christine continues, though when she catches the singers look of sympathy.
...I have no advice... I am sorry...

Kiras shoulders tense and drop before she turns her face away quickly.

every choice will be for love."
"Ditto." she admits, Even if that choice only seems to offer pathways for them and shut off more for me..."And we will never regret it, will we?"

"You're right, there's nothing further to do. Tis always in someone elses hands," she says to Helen, her eyes not parting from the waters. For the supposed weight of their own choices, so much weighs on the choices of others, so much so her own choice is rendered less then void.

Never mind the potential futures, potential goals, and potential sacrifices on potential friends or enemies lips that were spoken months ago. Words and fears and reactions. Potential futures and fantasies rendered nightmares, and not a soul to speak to about it.

The wind seems to howl, be it briefly, and higher pitched then normal, and after that sound Kira moves once more, back still towards them. Her neck nuzzling into her own shoulder, one hand still gripping the railing tightly, her other wrapped around herself, and bouncing between each toe in rhythm her hips appear to sway-tis a movement Christine has seen before, one that can be mistaken as flirtatious and coy, yet with these words, tis not, Kira doesn't even appear remotely away of her movements. Tis lonesome. The movement of one who cannot even hold her truest fears, hopes, or dreams to a book for a second before burning it. One whose own mind cannot host her truest thoughts before dismantling them.

Kira looks up, briefly, very briefly startled as Helen takes her hand. Her eyes blood shot and her lips shakily managing a smile.

"I guess I am still a few chapters back then," she sniffles a chuckle, "I agree with younger you, I don't find any comfort in a predetermined fate, yet...yet do take comfort in knowing there's only so much we can do, the rest lies on others, and tis in no ones right to force their fate to so called 'perfect' our own." Kira stares down at their feet, not used to any attempt at dancing, only having tried dancing once before the ball... they step on each others toes, despite the mere barely over glorified walking that their so called dance entails

"Sorry!" she gasps, and chuckles breaking her own rule, and as Helen too laughs, delighting in the talk of joy and pain throughout, she relents, "Okay, okay! How do you do it? Please, show me," help me "-show me how to just enjoy the ride, please?" she searches Helens eyes, a flinch when Helen states of reasons and plans for all, but she is trying, her shoulders relax, and her eyes, despite the uneasy fear of that darkens their waters are still open, still wanting to glimmer and shine at yet another hope, be it second hand or third.

Her steps become more lively at the talk of Persephone, "She's my favourite too! Though, I am sure that can change, as much as I have read, during my time in Court I am quite aware of how limited my knowledge is on deities of all kinds, but yes, I adore her tale!-I dressed as her during the masquerade," she admits, trying to mimic a spin they did during the ball, yet she stumbles over her own steps and guffaws.

"I never thought about it that deeply though, but yes...you're right!" Kira looks positively entranced by the notion, how could she never have seen that before! "how she turned the negative into something so bright, despite-" she chews her lip and breaks out into a smile, gaining her balance and happily dances with Christine too when she is invited in their show of mirth. "Hmm, there are others I adore, just soo many names they go by-I'll tell you when I recall the correct ones, but do go ahead first!"