Watching shadows

[Erika Leroux]

Erika is grateful for Christine giving her space following the aftermath of Valmont's party. As promised she'd returned to Christine and they had lost themselves in the sweet and urgent passion of reconciliation. She respected Christine's need for privacy, that being the sole reason for the third floor remaining unvisited by them the previous night.

Now, with Christine gone for a walk, she can slump into the despair and myriad other emotions that she'd kept hidden so well. Princes are strong, weakness, a crack can be utilised. Thank God, she thinks, that she can hide her feelings so well. Besides, she dare not heap her fears onto Christine, dear protective Christine.

She pours a drink for herself, the remainder of a bottle from last night's revelry, sipping at it thoughtfully before she reaches for the locket yet again. The locket that she'd thrown into the river.

How in hell had he found that in his grasp. Who knew?

That doesn't matter. What matters is his message. That he knows where to find her. That he is coming for her. She shudders.

Politics, she'd been told. He excels in such. So that's why juggling so many angry cats comes so naturally to her. She'd never meant to become involved in politics. She'd never meant to make herself so bloody visible. But this was - she was what this city needed. And Erika is one who has to do what must be done.

She curses herself for making herself so obvious to him. She curses him for not letting this go, for not...why couldn't he have just bloody well died?
.
She's tried to wipe the memories, and to a certain extent she's succeeded. Last night's message was a shock. She reaches for her glass, realises her hands are shaking. That she is shaking. And that she wants Christine to be here, holding her, comforting her, but at the same time she cannot let her see her like this. Shaken to the soul. Terrified, yet a part of her hopeful that he won't break her world completely a second time. Terrified that she's hoping he is pleased with what she has become...

[Christine Daye]

Some time later, Christine returns, humming quietly to herself as she does. Her eyes are bright, her manner calm, serene. Otherworldly. She smiles at Erika, so pleased to see her.

In her green gloved hand she carries a champagne flute, filled with water and a small poesy of snowdrops. She places the flowers carefully on the mantelpiece, arranging them to her satisfaction. The shy white flowers bring a hint of spring to the room.

It's been a long, hard Winter. But Spring is coming.

Christine knows that Erika is shaken. Who wouldn't be, given such a message? But, once again, there is no need for words between them. Just being there is enough for Christine. The stillness and peace she finds, just in the same room with her Maestra. The strength and stability, from just sitting by her side.

But though no words are needed, some things still need to be understood. So Christine sits at her Maestra's feet, leans her head against her Prince's thigh, feels Erika's hand come to rest in her hair. A sigh of pleasure, and Christine's eyes half close, diving deep into this contentment, this peace, this love. Feeling the connection between the two of them. Strengthening it. Weaving their heartstrings together, like they weave their voices together. This bond, this sacred trust.

And Christine gives voice to the song in her heart. A promise.

"Oh there was once a girl who had lost her own smile
And she wandered the country mile after mile
Never quite knowing what she wanted to find
For her heart it lay heavy with the weight of her mind

She wandered the land with the tear in her eyes
For she knew that there were those who would will her to die
And she wept for her mother as she lay at her feet
And she heard a voice singing her softly to sleep

I'll be your queen, I'll be your mother, I'll be your mystical child
Be your best friend, your lover
Your wife for all time
Will there ever be another, in this life of mine
Will there ever be another, like my mystical child

So she climbed a high hill and she looked out to sea
And she heard a voice calling out softly to her
Open your heart love for it needs to be free
And the next time you're crying come running to me

So she walked through the valleys the trees and the fields
And she came to a river where she waited for him
And they looked at the water of life flowing by
And she heard a voice saying 'you're not alone in the fight'"

((https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQiqxl1-7gI)))

[Erika Leroux]

"There was a time once..." Erika's words are soft, gentle. These are tones of past secrets, confessions spoken to only the very closest to her heart. "There was a time once, when I hid, alone, always watching the shadows, waiting for the inevitable."

She laughs softly.

"And then...you. You gave me purpose. You gave me reason to stop running, to make a place for us both. I stopped watching my back. I began to make a life for us both."

She pauses. A flash of pain. Her mind screaming, begging for it to stop.

"I'm not afraid any longer. Pain is nothing to me any longer. Losing you... that..."

A shiver of fear, gone as quickly as a spring shower.

"I am more now than I ever used to be. When he finds me, it will be on my terms surrounded by my people. And then we shall see."

[Christine Daye]

"There was a time... once..." Christine echoes her lover's words, her tone. "...there was a time when... if I had been in the situation I was... voice ripped away... bound and terrified... in front of the Gangrel... there was a time, once... when I would have failed... I would have fugued... I would have laid down and let myself die....

"...but this time.... despite my fear... I... I felt... I felt anger... I felt... determination... I could not... I would not give up... I needed to live... I needed to see everything... remember everything... because you needed to know what had happened... the very thought of you... it gave me strength... helped me persist..."

A soft sigh.

"... I'm sorry that I hid when I got back... I should have gone to you straight away.... but I knew that you would be upset... angry... I... I didn't want to be a burden... not after Christmas... not ever... and then... the rumours... I thought... that you would not need a little neonate... not now..."

She smiles, a soft chuckle. How predictable are you, Christine? So the patterns recur again and again, theme and variations. But yet the music changes and grows. And so do I.

"...your poem told me otherwise... quite emphatically! ...and, oh, so beautifully! ...and... did you see? As soon as I saw you... I knew... I saw you... sitting in pride and power as the meeting was called... and I had to go to you... and you took my hand... and I knew that everything would be alright... because we were together..."

A memory. Physically putting herself between Erika and the Gangrel Adonis, as he came to give Erika the message. She should have been terrified, to defy an elder so. He could have batted her aside without a moment's thought. But yet there was no fear, no hesitation. Only that protective, overpowering need to guard the one she loves. No matter the cost.

"...Losing you... that..."

How to explain? It would be so easy to promise that no, Erika would never lose Christine. But it would be an empty promise. And Christine will not tolerate lies.

"...this world is dangerous... but know this... now and always... whatever happens.... whatever happens... that I love you... that your love is my haven... my sanctuary... you are my strength... my joy... my heart... my love.... and though I dive deep into madness... into memory... it is you... you call me home... when I am lost... you call me home... when I am afraid... you call me home... so... no matter what happens... never doubt that I love you... always..."

Another breath, and Christine turns to face her love, determination firm in her eyes.

"I am not afraid any longer either... and yes... when he comes... we shall see... and so shall he!"