by annabelle » Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:39 pm
Helen is listening at her fellow Ventrue with an odd expression while Ellen is playing with the little human who actually seems relaxed and happy.
Her youthful face unmoving and frozen, oddly calm. She is fantasizing of digging her nails in her own face and scratching everything out while screaming in frustration. The window looking oddly appealing, feeling the need to just jump from it and escape this madness once and for all. All sorts of needs but as dear Cylon told her recently, she is not insane…yet.
“It’s hard in the beginning, adapting that is. I woke up after a 400 years of Torpor, I understand. You will feel like you don’t belong in this world, unable to fit, confused with your own self and your choices. In plain terms…a mess.“ Her voice gentle but distant.
She taps Elisabeth’s hand comfortingly, an odd smile forming.
“Do you only have 2 options in this life? You are an Ancilla not an unreleased fledging. Is it either isolation or being drugged around by Matthias? He is not for the faint heart, trust me I know so you either harden to handle him or you keep a safe distance and you crave your own path. If you ask me, there are benefits and drawbacks in both choices but you don’t need to hurry to make a decision….”
She shifts uncomfortably in her position and there is a face of defeat replacing everything else.
“The past six months was a total chaos for me and I predict it will be a total chaos for you too…”
She sighs again heavily, the whole scratching her own eyes out, a pleasant fantasy she was entertaining internally.
“We have a trip soon. I’ll be there if you want to talk more about it. I understand your situation more than you may think. And fortunately or unfortunately I sympathise…“
And with that she touches her hand and squeezes it lightly for comfort while looking at the window briefly and feeling like jumping from it.